disney on ice

so this was the end of show above

above is the arial under the sea show

below is more of arial which was shayla's favorite

below is shayla and her cousin sporting their new hats before the show started

 cant see very well but was tinker bell n peter pan

more of arial under the sea had more pictures but not much time to get them on here all and all we had a great time and I am greatful for the experiance out of it that I got thanks to our wonderful PAPAW thank you so much XOXOXOX WE LOVE YOU PAPAW!!!

So today shayla and I are going to US Bank Arena to see Disny On Ice she doesnt even know I am in hopes that all will turn out well we will be leaving and meeting with papaw and amie n the girls the smorning was rough and early as normal I was growly but the girls finally took a good nap alot has happened since I last posted hopefully we will have a great time I need to have a good time and be happy agian will post later tonight to post the pictures from today and tell all about what has been going on till then have a great day so I didnt't get the pics on when I was suppose to but hey at least I am getting them on here you go enjoy I know we did.

ones mind

Ok so I hate my life right now yes I am greatful for what I have and the people around me and for the help but deep down I hate my life mind over matter some say I am trying but am just about at my wit end my mind is racing always I have never been so weak in my life at times I want to just give up I never wanted children and somehow god has blessed me with 3 beautifal girls my purpose is to raise them and teach them right from wrong how does one do that when you yourself doesn't know right from wrong at times.
I wake up to them crying so I tend to them take care of them and love them when in my mind I cant wait to go back to sleep I have never been good with change I have been told I am a follower not a leader I am sad call it depression heartbreak whatever I really dont know how much more I can endure I want it all to go awayI feel as if I am loseing my mind a little at a time I just want to run and never look back or even at times go to sleep and not wake back up call it what you want I dont know what anything is anymore aside that my children love there mother and I love them, I just dont know if i have what it takes to be the person they need me to be I wish my own mother was here I am alone even with the help of loved ones around me I am still alone in my mind mind over matter right another day down and too many more to go miute by minute hour by hour how long will or can I hold up without giving in or up or falling only god knows I suppose cause I surely dont know anything right now well thats it for now hopefully the next time I will be in better spirits.

                                                                                                                     Love always susie mom ?

Heart Broken

I haven't been on in awhile things are going on and dont even know where to begin I guess for starters Love hurts alot wether you are with or without the person you love. Sometimes you can a love a person too much that you become blind to the real picture in this case that would be me I fell in love with this man we were happy living our life then we got engade then we had a daughter and were living the life he work days I worked nights things were good aside from the what I thought at the time were little bumps in the road looking back now those bumps were red flags that I was blind to the eye to see.I ended up pregnate agian except this time with twins talk about a roller coaster that it has been, so we done what we had to do move we got  a house the girls were born we all were adjusting including our little girl shayla that now is not only a big sister but a big sister to twin girls.
I am lost right now scared and have to figure out things on my own for the first time with my children of course he wants me to come back and is going to be mad but I have to to to this for myself I have pride and this may of been the worst mistack I have made or the best only time will tell for right now I am scared to death and feel all alone even though I know there is our family and people out there to help I dont know how long I will be here where I am what I do know is that I want to be happy agian and until I find myself it is going to be awhile so till then may the lord be with me on this journey I am on god bless and thank you  lord for getting me this far and walking along my side in your name amen.