Ok so I hate my life right now yes I am greatful for what I have and the people around me and for the help but deep down I hate my life mind over matter some say I am trying but am just about at my wit end my mind is racing always I have never been so weak in my life at times I want to just give up I never wanted children and somehow god has blessed me with 3 beautifal girls my purpose is to raise them and teach them right from wrong how does one do that when you yourself doesn't know right from wrong at times.
I wake up to them crying so I tend to them take care of them and love them when in my mind I cant wait to go back to sleep I have never been good with change I have been told I am a follower not a leader I am sad call it depression heartbreak whatever I really dont know how much more I can endure I want it all to go awayI feel as if I am loseing my mind a little at a time I just want to run and never look back or even at times go to sleep and not wake back up call it what you want I dont know what anything is anymore aside that my children love there mother and I love them, I just dont know if i have what it takes to be the person they need me to be I wish my own mother was here I am alone even with the help of loved ones around me I am still alone in my mind mind over matter right another day down and too many more to go miute by minute hour by hour how long will or can I hold up without giving in or up or falling only god knows I suppose cause I surely dont know anything right now well thats it for now hopefully the next time I will be in better spirits.
Love always susie mom ?
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