Having Fun With A Friend

don't think you r foolin me u know u r the pool shark lol

So my friend Shannon is in town I couldn't wait to see her and get out of the house for a bit, the plan was for us to go have a starbucks and do a little shopping well change of plans because she is limited on time to visit  we got together a little later than planned but all went well, instead we went to a bowling ally and shot some pool in the bar area and had a drink and a good time. It was sad that our time was only a couple of hours but at least in those hours we had a good time and Im sure there will be more good times to come,  friends are hard to come by so when you know you have that friend hold them close to you and and never let them go even if from a far. Now Im back to  being the mommy and person Im ment to be not that I never was last night I was being me with my best friend can't wait to see you agian until next time know I am always there Im just a phone call away.Take care out there

Another Day

I open my eyes and look over at the time, and relize I got to sleep in, it was 6:20 am so I got up out of bed
quietly so not to wake the others, I felt a sence of goodness come over me as if I was refreshed a new person or something. I make some coffee and go sit down then at 6:30 I hear the cries of my girls waking up so I get their cups of milk ready before I go get them up once up they get their diapers changed then I put them in the walker and the bouncer with their milk and dry ceral so I can have a little more time to finish my coffee and get on the computer after they are done I get them dressed for the day unless it is a pj day in which we stay in our pjs all day, by 7:30 I wake up my daughter shayla for school she plays with her baby sisters then begins to get ready for school.
8:00 is usually breakfest for all 3 girls today shayla decided to get ready then instead of when she fiirst got upby 8:15 finish with breakfest clean up from that all mean while shayla is still in her room doing lord know what when she is suppost to be getting ready, so I fix the girls hair while they r still in their highchairs then put them back in their bouncer n walker
8:30 I get dressed put on my makeup and finally my shoes
8:45 we finally head out the door to take shayla to school
9:00 back home bring in one baby girl at a time put them to bed for their nap once Im done with that I get some more coffee and take a smoke break then I finish getting ready get on the computer
9:50 get skylar up by 10:00 shawn was up having coffee then at 10:30 I helped shawn take out the seats in my van so he could go meet his dad to get the swing set for the girls then starr wakes up she took a good nap 1hr n a half so then I give the girls a snack and put them in the liviing room to play with there toys then I go get back on the computer at 11:16 I was figuring out what t have for lunch then I feed the girls their lunch clean the place up then papaw got us lunch and he visits with the girls shawn done some laundry and I helped him fold laundry
1:00 I leave to take my sweater back to the mall and and a couple different  stores
3:00 I return home put up clothes smoke a cigg, shayla watching tv girls playing in their highchairs I get the girls put them in living room (the baby jail) shayla starts her homework I try to work with her of course goes downhill so shawn takes over on homework while I do dishes then go spend time with girls in baby jail.around 4:45 or so shawn takes a shower kids r playing by 5:00 Im figureing out what to fix for dinner then we have dinner shawn not feeling well so he goes to bed, girls have tomato soup and grilled cheese and chicken with barbeque sauce by 10 till 6:00 I get the girls in their pj's and go read teddybear teddy bear to them then it's kisses and lights out for the girls.
shayla get a board game ready for us to play the game sorry her favorite so we do that by 6:30 I start dishes once agian shayla watches more tv which we need to cut back till time to go to bed at 7:00 it's bedtime for shayla I pick up toys wipe things down tuck shayla in bed by 10 after 7 then I go get back on the computer I have been on the computer alot lately doing this blogging stuff to keep my mine off other things20 after 8 shayla comes out of her room round 2 of getting her in bed people wonder why I pt her to bed so early first off because it takes 30 to 60 minutes or more for her to actually clam down and go to sleep and 2nd that is suppose to be shawn and I time doesn't always work that way but thats the plan .
So Shawn gets up 7:25 to eat I am on the computer then I leave to go to the store and get milk while he is up to keep a ear out for the girls, 8:00 Im back from the store finally I do believe there are angles becausejust when you are not thinking about it or when you least excpect it something good happens and it's like it comes from out of the clear blue and smacks you right in the face thank you for I will always keep and hold onto faith and remember to belive always.
So I get back to writing this blog I decide to call a friend didn't excpect to be on the phone as long as I was thats what happens when you dont keep in contact you have to catch up so it was like 10:00 by the time I got off the phone and went to bed was tired so thats why I finished this the smorning and am just posting it now at 7:45 am nov 4th even though I started it yesterdayjust laid the girls down for their morn napto all in all though my day was a good day I am blessed to of  had  it and blessed to have all that I have with that said until next time                                 love always susanne

                                             I forgot to mention I also enjoyed wearing my new sweater and slippers that shawn got for me early merry christmas to me thank you                     

screams, cries, temper tamtrums, and anger management

Why is it that you can wake up and be positive and look foward to your day then towards around say 4 ish in the afternoon everything goes to hell in a hand basket between tring to make dinner and babies waking up screaming from their naps not ready to get up and teething then I have a 6 year old that wants to throw fits like a 2 yr old or acts like she has been beaten or aboused in which case has and nor would never happen she doesn't listen then has massive melt downs I think she has some anger issues she doesnt know how to express herself in the right manner or use her words, I do not recall myself haveing those issues as a child but growing up I have held my feeling inside along the years I have come to learn how to let it go or not to hold it in I may write in a journal or something like this to let it out.As a parent dealing with their own personal issues it is sometimes hard to express to our children how to deal when yourself is as well dealing in their own way , I hope that made since to whom ever may read this I am happy with my life not always but always greatful I do relize what we have and not to take it for grantit it can all be overwhelming at time to try and keep up on al of it house kids yourself and your partner and to stop and remember to breath at times inbetween all the crazyness I guess you just have to be thankful for the moments we have in this day our life because you never know what tomarrow ar even the next minute might bring sometimes I have to step outside and take a breather sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn't but all in all remember to remember for the time we have is right now yesterday is gone  tomarrow isn't here so we have right now with that said my babies yes babies twin girls 13 months and my 6 year old need their mommy so now that I have vented a little back to doing what I truly am ment to do is be a mommy to my girls they wont be little forever so thats it for now unil tomarrow or the next time


P.S. thank you for taking the time to read this if you did

this was starr being the star she loves those glasses

here is skylar playing peek a boo around the corner

this was the girls helping mommy with laundry

this is starr playing with the baby doll quietly

this was a little fresh air time outside it was beautifal outside so why not get a little fresh air,starr giving shayla a leave

this is my 3 blue eyed angles

here skylar shareing her leaf with big sis shayla how cute

trying to kep these 2 together was a job but I did it ya

Ok so after last night I was thinking I never talked about the good out of our day we had well here are a few pictures its not always a bad day around here hope you enjoyed the pictures I know I always do                                                                                                                                       Susanne

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

well yesterday was halloween and my daughter was pretty excited I don't know what kid wouldn't be.

So I origanally wanted to take the girls out trick or treating but skylar had a cold and shayla wanted to go with a friend so I at least got the girls dressed up and got a picture then the fun of getting shayla ready she was a japenes princess once done oh about forgot dad had to dress up while I was getting shayla ready so he could pass out candy, so then I put on my costume for the first time ever dressing up since I was a kid to help pass out candy have to admit it was kind of fun then I put the girls to bed turned on the monitor since I am on call all the time with the girls everything worked out well aside from my little skylar haveing a cold so without futher do enjoy the pictures and until next year hope you all had a happy halloween.

disney on ice

so this was the end of show above

above is the arial under the sea show

below is more of arial which was shayla's favorite

below is shayla and her cousin sporting their new hats before the show started

 cant see very well but was tinker bell n peter pan

more of arial under the sea had more pictures but not much time to get them on here all and all we had a great time and I am greatful for the experiance out of it that I got thanks to our wonderful PAPAW thank you so much XOXOXOX WE LOVE YOU PAPAW!!!

So today shayla and I are going to US Bank Arena to see Disny On Ice she doesnt even know I am in hopes that all will turn out well we will be leaving and meeting with papaw and amie n the girls the smorning was rough and early as normal I was growly but the girls finally took a good nap alot has happened since I last posted hopefully we will have a great time I need to have a good time and be happy agian will post later tonight to post the pictures from today and tell all about what has been going on till then have a great day so I didnt't get the pics on when I was suppose to but hey at least I am getting them on here you go enjoy I know we did.

ones mind

Ok so I hate my life right now yes I am greatful for what I have and the people around me and for the help but deep down I hate my life mind over matter some say I am trying but am just about at my wit end my mind is racing always I have never been so weak in my life at times I want to just give up I never wanted children and somehow god has blessed me with 3 beautifal girls my purpose is to raise them and teach them right from wrong how does one do that when you yourself doesn't know right from wrong at times.
I wake up to them crying so I tend to them take care of them and love them when in my mind I cant wait to go back to sleep I have never been good with change I have been told I am a follower not a leader I am sad call it depression heartbreak whatever I really dont know how much more I can endure I want it all to go awayI feel as if I am loseing my mind a little at a time I just want to run and never look back or even at times go to sleep and not wake back up call it what you want I dont know what anything is anymore aside that my children love there mother and I love them, I just dont know if i have what it takes to be the person they need me to be I wish my own mother was here I am alone even with the help of loved ones around me I am still alone in my mind mind over matter right another day down and too many more to go miute by minute hour by hour how long will or can I hold up without giving in or up or falling only god knows I suppose cause I surely dont know anything right now well thats it for now hopefully the next time I will be in better spirits.

                                                                                                                     Love always susie mom ?

Heart Broken

I haven't been on in awhile things are going on and dont even know where to begin I guess for starters Love hurts alot wether you are with or without the person you love. Sometimes you can a love a person too much that you become blind to the real picture in this case that would be me I fell in love with this man we were happy living our life then we got engade then we had a daughter and were living the life he work days I worked nights things were good aside from the what I thought at the time were little bumps in the road looking back now those bumps were red flags that I was blind to the eye to see.I ended up pregnate agian except this time with twins talk about a roller coaster that it has been, so we done what we had to do move we got  a house the girls were born we all were adjusting including our little girl shayla that now is not only a big sister but a big sister to twin girls.
I am lost right now scared and have to figure out things on my own for the first time with my children of course he wants me to come back and is going to be mad but I have to to to this for myself I have pride and this may of been the worst mistack I have made or the best only time will tell for right now I am scared to death and feel all alone even though I know there is our family and people out there to help I dont know how long I will be here where I am what I do know is that I want to be happy agian and until I find myself it is going to be awhile so till then may the lord be with me on this journey I am on god bless and thank you  lord for getting me this far and walking along my side in your name amen.